Bushed in the Bay

The school year is winding down to a close, and may Heaven be praised. I am fighting the good fight in a music room in a school up-island; I’ve lasted a couple of weeks there, and I’m running out of ideas. It reminds me of when I married John Darling – I got him to the altar before I ran out of recipes I knew off by heart. Of course, this system broke down after we were married. A couple of weeks after the nuptials I placed in front of him a dinner of beans festooned with chunks of pineapple. It was not well-received.
I am running out of campfire action songs, and I can drum up only so many backstories for the classical pieces I play. “Henry VIII was the meanest king England ever had, but he wasn’t a bad musician. This was his ‘hit’. And anyone who talked or made racket while Henry VIII was playing his ‘hit’ would probably be executed. Just sayin’.” However, for some reason Grade ones and twos find fingerplays fascinating, and they will sit still for a chance to be the bear that ‘climbs over the mountain’ – thinly disguised as a common classroom chair. Also the older children are interested in the story of how I got thrown off the community piano at Cowichan Bay. “And this is the piece I’m pretty sure that did it.” Then I rip through 8 pages of ‘Bumble Boogie.”
The Vancouver Boat Show this year was a hit. I sold a bunch of books and had a good time, but the event will forever remembered among the BC Marine Authors as ‘The Great Stench of 2019.’ There we were – standing right next to the men’s washroom with pained looks on our faces. They tried perfume. They tried ventilation. Then someone decided to flush the drains and – a miracle! We could endure the rest of the Boat Show. Nobody warns you of any of this at the start of your writing career.
Speaking of writing career, my children’s chapter book trilogy is out – for the horrific price of $13.00 a book (my cost was about $12.00 a book!). The artwork on the cover, and inside, is amazing, thanks to the talented artists who pulled together to make this happen. So for $45.00 mailed out, you may own ‘Jessica and the Polar Bear (Even the Cubs Bite), ‘Jessica and the Dog (Some Dogs aren’t Friendly) and ‘Jessica and the Plane (some planes land hard). The books would be best for children 8 – 9 years old. I apologize in advance that this price is about the same as half a week’s groceries. Or maybe a quarter of a week – groceries have gone up too.
I think I shall publish one more boating book, and then I’ll be done for awhile. “I’ve run out of things to say,” I told a friendly Educational Assistant at the school I’ve been at for a couple of weeks. “Not YOU,” she said. When I told the story to my husband, he laughed all out of proportion to the joke, bless his heart.
John Darling’s stents are holding well, and turns out he doesn’t have dementia after all – he was just a little low on oxygen for awhile. He’s presently no more foolish than when I married him. The sun is up, my sailing dinghy is rigged, and life is good.
May Heaven bless you all.