Merry Christmas!

The tree is up (all 2 1/2 feet of it), and all is merry. The boat is warm, may Heaven be praised (how I adore my kerosene heater!), and now we’re on the hunt for a turkey that will fit into our oven – a turkey that died of a wasting disease. But I am optimistic. With the help of my trusty bread knife and the use of my sink to thrash the turkey carcase around in, I will jam that sucker into my oven with very little yelling indeed. Though I may have to crack a few turkey ribs to do it.

My friend Glen (who used to be a health inspector! Me! knowing a health inspector. Me! knowing a health inspector who LIKES me!) who helped me set up my website (OK – he did all of it) is also helping me set up Paypal, which is a horrific ordeal that I am trying to avoid. Last week I had the lurge and couldn’t talk. This weekend I have no excuse. So expect Paypal on my site soon.

Book # 5 is at the printer. It is called, “Darling Call the Coast Guard, that Boat is Listing!” I thought ‘Listing’ read better than ‘Sinking’. There’s not much that’s funny about sinking. I’ve never done it, but I swear we’ve come close a couple of times, though John Darling denies everything.

Our propane stove is on its last legs. I get the occasional whiff of propane (probably not a good sign), and one of our three stovetop elements has melted down to a nub. This also is probably not a good sign. John also says another element is about to give, which will reduce us to warming up canned beans for food, which John will consider no hardship whatsoever because he’s English and loves beans.

That’s the news that’s fit to print.

Many blessings, Merry Christmas, and may 2016 be your best year yet!